Does anyone have any suggestions about what to do and how to handle a 6 year old boy who talks back?
Hunter....my sweet sweet Hunter.....has started talking back. It all started after spring break. And it is driving me crazy. The new one is "i just can't listen to you and dad. i can listen and be obedient to everyone else but you two" He actually said that to me! Yesterday I put Taylor down for her nap and Hunter was throwing a ball up against the wall (which is normally fine but now when Taylor is sleeping). So I asked him to stop and and he says "well that's what you get" and I said "excuse me" and he says "well that's what you get for putting Taylor down while I was throwing the ball"....he got sent to his room.
The thing is he doesn't even really know HOW to talk back....it's just his tone. Sometimes it's not his tone...it's what he says. One day while we were getting ready for T-Ball he put his shoes without socks on, something I can't stand. So i asked him (nicely) "you need to put socks on" and he says "No" and I said "yes please" and he says no" and I told him "you aren't playing t-ball with no socks" and he says "well i think it's perfectly ok"
I mean really, Hunter? REALLY?
I know some of it has to do with the tone that Paul and I talk to him in. I am trying very hard to be much more nice and loving and not immediately go to yelling. I am trying to be an active listener (everybody loves raymond episode anyone?) and try to just show him that we love him no matter what. So i am trying that very hard.....not only that...it's actually a Personal Progress goal I am working on!
But not to paint Hunter as this horrible 6 year old. He is actually really really sweet. He loves me and says thank you and loves his sisters and is actually quite helplful. He of course has his moments of "I don't want to pick up my room" but hey....I do too! His BAD episodes are usually only one a day...maybe two. Of course Riley doesn't help out because I think she likes to see him get mad and she will purposely P*ss him off! It's actually quite funny....but I am working on her too.
So of course I am doing the bribe thing. I bought him Mario Kart Wii with 4 steering wheels over a week ago. We still haven't opened it because he hasn't earned it yet. So what is the correct way to "earn" it?!?!??!?!?!
At school they do a card system....green is great!, yellow is a warning....red is 10 minutes out of recess...and blue is no recess and a call home. And Hunter always stays on green. His teacher (as I said in a previous post) never has to ask him to do anything twice..and he never throws a fit! So i am going to try and implement that. I also want to do a point system (like Hogwarts!) to where if he behaves he gets more points and if he doesn't he gets them taken away. And he will have to have so many points before he gets the game..... But then is this teaching him that he only wants to be good because he'll get something in return and not because it is the right thing to do?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I am really at a loss. Like I said Hunter really isn't that bad. Maybe I'm the one that's wrong. I am open for suggestions and let me know what you use for your children.
**pictures are by Megan...but they are on my computer screen so they don't do justice!!!!!!
4 comments:
We really like our Pyramid system and the boys' responsibility charts. However, by far one of the best things I have read is The Power of Positive Parenting. I know you have the book so go take it off of your shelf and read it! It has some good ideas. Also, So You Want to Raise a Boy is a good book to have. My sisters-in-law all have it and my mother-in-law(who raised 8 boys) really think it does a good job of explaining boys at each age and stage. Have fun!!
i have no idea what you do with boys, but sunita and i don't talk back even now, and never really have..but my parents used the method of shaming us into being good..i.e. we have a really strong conscience that doesn't like to be guilty because there's nothing worse in this world than disappointing a parent..so there's an approach....the fear of shame or guilt as a motivator to be good
I have a back talker myself. She is not even 4 yet!! Yikes! My suggestion is to keep your cool. I know that seem silly and useless, but I have noticed that the more I react, the more Cora realizes it and continue being naughty. That is my only advice because really whatever I am doing is not working. Let me know if you get any good tips!
so first of all...why are you doint personal progress again? man you really do want to be in high school don't you?! but its good that you're trying to stay calm (since you're the evil twin). have you thought of beating him? LOL I'm totally kidding, i thought it would be funny (think of it in an english accent). thats all i have really...ok bye...ROCKBAND!!!!
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